Life’s pretty tough to me the past year… Hopefully I wish to enjoy this year’s exploration of myself and my psyche as to what I’ve been thinking, I still don’t know what I really wanted from this damn life. I don’t know but sometimes I’m drained of everything I absorb. I still don’t know how to react; I even don’t know what to do when someone approaches me and gets my cell phone number. It’s always that I think of the people as my rival. I don’t know where I got that kind of thinking but it seems like life is like fighting for survival and I don’t want to be used that’s why I don’t easily trust people even if they were my closest friend. I’m really sorry that I’m like this but even if I force myself to change and amend my views about others I still can’t do it. There’s someone (a rabbit that talks maybe) inside me that tells me not to, even if they’re my parents; even if I don’t have anything to hide because I’m living a so-so boring life. It looks like I’m still searching for my soul to get it synchronize with my physical manifestation of a self-proclaimed prodigy. Well I guess that’s what you called defense mechanism. I don’t have anything to share when it comes to glamour, poise and stuffs like that. I’m more to my masculine side. All I can share are the things that I practiced and acquired, results of the hard work I’ve done to forge what I’ am right now. No innate properties and such. But even if I have everything as what most of the people claim, I don’t know why still I’m not pleased. Most of my friends during high school told me after not seeing for some years that I didn’t change even a bit but they’re all wrong. I’ve changed, totally a different person from high school. And you know what really beats me to it; I liked who I was before.

…

I don’t know where this leads me but I hope after writing this damn note on my wired blog (thank god for the internet) somehow something will fill in the empty space…

I’ve read a hate letter for Filipinos on my e-mail today and I was disgusted about the fact that we are being discriminated by a power grabbing race and culture. It was a letter from Mr. Art Bell, a superficial minded man; which we commonly see from his race that again discriminates basing on human’s physical appearance. What a very lame comment about us Filipinos. All that I could think of the reason why Mr. Art Bell remark such things is that he finally notices how intelligent Filipinos can be and if this continues his country might be ruled by a Filipino and it’s not impossible. He turns down most of the African American people, leveling it with the so-called “South East Asian” but what is his position to state such things knowing that a former president of United States Abraham Lincoln has an African lineage. If his mind only understands and considers the word Asian as the status of a nation’s economy, aside from the fact of geographical location then he should consider also that his country is over dependent upon Asian nation. Consider for example, he’s stating that we are claiming ourselves as Japanese?! Then he should take a look about who consumes most of Japan’s technology!! Anime, games, TVs, Cars, cameras, printers, computers, laptops… name it, all of these technologies are being consumed by western people. We have no issue with Japan, Korea and China. As far as I know when we say Asia I think these countries considers all nations via geographical location and no discrimination as such since we consider ourselves brothers. If ever we decided to live by ourselves and detach United States, 10 to 20 years from now you’ll be in the pit of your grave with no technologies, no food, no cheap cars, no cool TVs, no anime and everything. I’m an otaku and I really love anime but as what I could remember Americans are the one’s who’s really obsessed to be like Asians, to be like superheroes from anime, to be like Naruto (a show which is made by an Asian). If we left them out only to utilize what they have in their country, I’ll laugh at them thinking that they would really be left out of time. These kinds of people who look at themselves above from the rest based on human’s physical appearances are the one’s we should pity because they are being blinded of their egoistic state of mind. They are blinded by the truth that they are DEPENDENT UPON ASIAN NATIONS… and… Wahahahaha! I’ll laugh my ass off because of that and it will stay that way forever. Sorry Mr. Art Bell but you loose… >,<

…

Note: You guys contact our call centers to get assisted. Now who’s stupid?